They say you never run into freaks when you're looking for them, so it makes sense that when I wasn't looking I ran directly into a freak.
I was on auto-pilot on my usual route through Union station when I collided with what at first struck me as very smelly wall. In reality it was a very smelly person. Seems common enough, but instead of the usual "excuse me" (pronounced "fuck you" in New York), this freak responded with something completely unexpected.
"I'm tall."
When I looked up, I saw something completely unexpected. He wasn't tall. His natural human height was actually quite diminutive, but he'd added an attachment, a stuffed giraffe he'd cut off at the neck and made into a hat.
Sensing my puzzlement, the freak repeated "I'm tall," and flashed me a dolphin-happy grin.
I wondered if he'd been confused by the term "concrete jungle," and not realized that the giraffe's natural habitat is the grasslands. But I concluded that the get-up was simply for protection. According to wiki: "The hairs in a giraffe's fur work as a chemical defense, giving the animal a distinctive pungent odor."
My nose agreed that this defense could disarm any threat a giraffe might encounter in the subway.
